I am a writer. I am not a fledging writer or a budding writer, I am a writer. Most of my works have indeed been published in various places, but I have written three novels and one novella, though they have yet to be published. What few people know is that in between those books, I had almost completely given up on writing. 

My first novella is essentially a good old-fashioned mystery with supernatural undertones. I wrote the story when I was sixteen and it really challenged my creativity. The first two drafts of it are horrendous, in fact, the third draft is almost an entirely different story with only a few themes copied.  I could not believe I had actually finished it. I was ecstatic. 

I immediately set about trying to find a publisher. Not knowing what to do, I sent out my manuscripts blindly. All of them came back with rejections, but one nice person added a note on my manuscript saying that I needed to find an agent and even recommended someone. I contacted that agent immediately.

He appeared to be a nice gentleman and we talked often on the phone. I mowed lawns to get the money to pay his fee. Someone from a smaller publisher sent me a letter saying that they were considering publishing my manuscript as a teen novel (that was pre-young adult). I contacted my agent asking if this publisher was legit and after getting confirmation, he went about negotiating for me. Somewhere around this time, he informed me he was leaving the agency he was working with to become independent. I had no problem with this as it made no difference as long as my novella moved forward. 

Sometime after this, the agent dropped me. The only explanation I got from this man was that I was too much of a risk since I was so young. After only three days, he lost my number and email address. I tried to establish a rapport with the publisher myself, but the publisher refused to work with an “unsolicited manuscript” though they contacted me. 

My world was crushed. That was when my writer's doubt set in. During the negotiations of the mystery, I had begun work on a supernatural thriller. Though I finished it, I could not get into writing anymore. I lost all of my motivation to write and the doubt sank into my mind. 

I kept a journal where I wrote poems, but these were all nothing compared to the writings I had been planning. I sailed along in my doubt. I do not mean to sound melodramatic, but I was a teenager and I think my age combined with this rejection impacted my creativity even more.  I did not write a single story outline or idea down for four years. 

While I was going to school in Northern California, I studied Creative Arts, and my teacher, whom I later interned for, saw my talent for writing when I helped write a short play for the drama team. She encouraged me and told me to pursue my writing once again for my creative project. I decided to take what she said to heart and I began a second draft of my supernatural thriller. 

I will be honest, I had to force myself to do this. Four years of doubt really challenges your creative juices, but remembering my teacher’s encouragement, I powered through.  

As I was writing and editing this draft, I could feel my creativity come out. I went through the whole manuscript from beginning to end. I edited it down and then built it back up. 

I literally finished it the day before it was due. I had to borrow my roommate’s printer and pay him back for the paper and ink. As I presented it as my creative arts project, I felt this release. This was something I had accomplished. I had overcome four years of writer's doubt and had done this. My creativity felt restored. 

Though I have yet to be published, I am confident and proud that I am a writer. If you are suffering from writer's doubt, find someone to encourage you. Take it, no matter how small,l and use it to power through so you can accomplish it. 

It is amazing to me how many people expect artisans and writers to work for free. It stuns me to the core at times. Because of the flooding market for artwork and writing, thanks to various online avenues, some folks just assume that if they query an artist or a writer they will work for free because it will help with their “exposure.”

Telling a writer or an artist to work for free because they will get “exposure” is no different than blackmail. Yes, I did just say that out loud. I would say it again.

I am a writer and I publish my articles on my blog because I do love writing and I gladly write for free, for myself on my blog. That last part does not often sit well with people.

My wife is a truly amazing and gifted artist. She paints with an eye like I have never seen. She would be approached by people wanting to buy her art. My wife would tell them the price, but the person would insist that she lower the price. At first, my wife would because she wanted her artwork to be known, but she discovered, that the more she did it, the more people would ask for it cheap. One time, a person took a painting promising to pay, but she never did. Recently, she told me she would never lower the price of her art again. I applaud her desire to see her art sell for the price that she sets.

Likewise, as a freelance writer, I often search for opportunities to write for a publication, whether online or otherwise. However, I came across one website that proclaimed it would not pay you for the first three months, but if it liked your articles enough, it would start paying you. At first, I sucked in my gut and prepared to send them something, but then, I thought, “Wait, how do I know they’ll hire me? How do I know if my articles are well received?”

I realized they could potentially get three months of free labor out of me and then cut ties with me whether my articles were well received or not.

Would a marketer go to work for a company that said they expected him or her to work for free? What about a chef at a restaurant? Of course not. Every writer and artisan deserves to get paid for their work, especially if it is read or viewed in a way that moves the purchaser.

No longer can a writer or artist be forced to work for free under the guise of “exposure.” We must recognize who is a good writer or artisan and give them their due.

There are two types of pride.

One is described as, “a high or inordinate opinion of one’s own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority.” This is the type of pride that the wise King Solomon warned us about when he wrote, “Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before the fall.” Yes, this sort of arrogant pride is what drives people away from you. Be very wary of that.

However, there is another type of pride. This one is defined as, “pleasure or satisfaction taken in something done by or belonging to oneself or believed to reflect credit upon oneself.” This is being proud of what you have accomplished. This kind of pride is lacking a great deal in our society today where conformity is often valued higher than imagination.

It may seem harsh to say, but it is true. Unless the imaginative is really just being weird in disguise, the value of it is marginalized so much it is often considered to be a rarity. This is not true. Every person has a unique reason to be proud of what they have accomplished in life. 

Many try to say that an individual accomplishment is not truly won by the individual. I have heard it said that if someone may have helped an individual with their project, what it may be, therefore it is a sort of false pride that they have in their work. That individual should not take credit for their accomplishment. A few have fallen prey to this and when they do something big or important, they take false humility in claiming that they could not have done it without support. False humility is even worse than pride, but that is a whole other topic.

It may be true that help was given to you, but if you did it, with your sleeves rolled up as part of team or by yourself, take pride in your work and hold your head high. You still did it and you should be proud of the quality of the work that you did.

What if things had gone differently in the Industrial Age? What if Henry Ford had given up after his first failure in creating cheaper automobiles? Instead, he kept on innovating. He famously said, “If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses.” Here is a man who did not conform, but instead took pride in his work. Not only did he invent a better automobile, but he changed the way businesses run to this day.

Do not be afraid of taking credit for your accomplishments. If you were successful, you have a right to celebrate. Do not become arrogant, but acknowledge the hard work and the effort you put into whatever you have succeeded in. It does not matter whether you are a doctor who found a cure, an athlete who won the gold, an engineer who built a better engine, or a self-starter who founded your own successful business, be proud and take pleasure in your work. It is your success after all.